Start Slowly! : -
You've got to begin as friends. A first date is not a licence
to love. Anything that starts on too lovey-dovey a note, is not quite above
board. Avoid cute talk or terms of endearment if you want the relationship
to move on to better things. If you're going to throw a 'I Love You and I've
loved you forever' at someone you've met only recently and don't know all
that well, the person's going to do a Roadrunner on you - that is, disappears
fast as their feet can carry them! And think about how you'd feel if the object
of your affections just smiles back politely. You're only leaving yourself
open to hurt. It's best to wait a while and be sure of yourself, the other
person and your feelings before you say the words. A date only signifies interest,
Treat Yourself Right! : -
Most importantly, show the other person how to treat you right.
You may desperately want the other person to think you're cool and 'with it'.
So you don't complain if your first date is at a cheap nightclub or a roadside
'dhaba' full of truckers. Don't take it lying down if your date is an hour
late, passes a nasty remark about your appearance or about the car or bike
you drive. Think again if he/she is paranoid about being seen with you by
relatives or friends, talks down to you or flirts outrageously with someone
else. Don't just shut up and stand for bad behaviour. It is wrong and just
sets the pattern for the future (that is, if you still want a future with
someone like that!). Listen to your heart, if something hurts you or you're
uncomfortable with a situation, speak up; you only stand to gain. You may
be totally nuts about the other person, but that doesn't mean you get treated
like a doormat - not even once.
Save yourself some heartache!: -
Don't fly off the handle but convey that you can't be friends
if you don't have respect for each other and that maybe the date wasn't such
a good idea after all. See how the other person responds. Either way, you
save yourself a lot of heartache - because if your date is basically a spoiled
pain in the pyjamas, then you're better off without him/her. And if your date
isn't seriously interested in you, he or she will walk off in a huff - and
you've only saved yourself a lot of time and effort. If your date is genuinely
nice and straightens his/her act, immediately, they'll respect you for speaking
up. The best part? You'll feel better about yourself, no matter what the outcome.
The Getaway!: -
Don't be shy about cutting a first date short if you've figured
out that you have absolutely nothing in common. When you have a gut feeling
about the person not being right for you and you're not having too much fun,
you don't have to go along with the plan. Say something polite and friendly
and leave. Don't be rude or antagonise the person under any circumstances.
Blind Dates!: -
If it's a blind date set up by friends, or say, it's with someone
you've met on the Net, play safe and keep your escape options open by meeting
in a public place for a coffee rather than a long lunch or a dinner 'n' dance.
If in the first fifteen minutes you know that nothing on this earth will make
you date the person again, don't prolong the agony. Be frank and promise to
keep in touch. If you know the person, but it's still a first date, do something
that gives you time to talk and get to know each other. Don't just go to a
movie together. If you can't think of anything more exciting, grab a coffee
or a dessert later or you could even walk home.
Keep the mystery!: -
If you're the kind who thinks you've found your soulmate at
first sight, think before you bare your soul. Tell the other person all about
yourself and your life, all on the first date, and you lose your mystery along
with your date's interest. Don't go on and on about yourself. Focus on your
date too. Get answers to questions without sounding inquisitive or too eager.
Always maintain good eye contact and be sincere, you date will be flattered
by your interest. If your date asks about your past, don't avoid it but refer
to it in a classy way, without badmouthing anyone.
One Step at a time!: -
Don't land up on the first date with a gift; flowers for her
are fine but hang on to the book of love poems and gifts of clothing, jewellery,
etc., for later - you'll only look desperate. Don't let the date go on forever
(even if it's the only thing you want to do). Give too much of your time too
soon, and the other person may take you for granted. You'll only end up feeling
cheated. It's your first date, spend just enough time to let the other person
see how interesting and wonderful you are. But be careful not to leave your
date with the impression that you're bored and disinterested if you're not.
Cut your losses!: -
If you've made a date, but figure it's a mistake, don't feel
embarrassed to cancel, as long as it's not at the last minute. Lastly, remember,
happy people are more attractive. People who seem to be enjoying their lives
are always more appealing. Your date is not a psychiatrist, so don't go into
a pathetic, whining spiel about life, illness, office politics, parents, therapy,
etc, No one likes a sad, unhappy, depressed person unless they're that way
themselves, and even that's a remote possibility!