Learn to break up gracefully !

Yes, learn to break up gracefully When you become convinced that a dating relationship is not what you want, you must take the responsibility of ending it...it is possible that you might have this person as a friend in the future !!

Face the facts !

So it's over...accept it !! Don't go into...we were so happy...we can work it out...we were perfect for each-other...etc etc. Your partner was not happy. You probably became too comfortable in the relationship !! Driven by innate loneliness, desperation, false hopes or what so ever reasons you chose that one particular person... and it is difficult to admit that you are at fault !!

Why should you feel bad about being alone ?? Don't you like yourself ? If not, why not? Try to be comfortable with yourself . To love somebody you have to first love yourself !! Spend time with yourself...take this time to get re-acquainted with yourself !!

Be sensitive of the timing !

There is never a "perfect" time for a breakup but use your common sense. Break the bad news gently at the best possible time !! Don't drop the bombshell on the day your girlfriend flunks her maths exam, or on the birthday of your boyfriend...or worse still on the day on your anniversary !! If you know the breakup is going to be emotionally painful for the other person (which it usually is), choose a time when your soon to be ex has friends around who can provide moral support...you definitely own this much to your partner !!

Be truthful !

Be truthful - but not brutally truthful. This is not a liar detector test and you really don't have to try and justify your actions by listing out "101 Reasons I Don't Want to Date You Anymore." Many of your reasons may appear shallow to the person being rejected...so please be sincere while giving out your reasons !! Don't argue over insignificant matters... just clearly state your reason for wanting out in such a way that arguing is unnecessary...it is tougher than you think !! There is no easy way to do this... you gotta do what you gotta do !!

Use "I" and not "You" !

Do not adopt an accusing tone while stating your reasons. An "I-message" indicates that you are taking responsibiliy for the breakup of the relationship, while a "you-message" accuses the other person. Notice the difference between, "I am not fit to be your boyfriend/girlfriend...you deserve somebody better !!" versus "You are not fit to be my girlfriend/boyfriend...I deserve somebody better !!"...got it ?? Wear an armour if you plan to use the second statement...or else you just might end up getting killed !!

Do it right !

Break up face to face...scared ?? At least have the guts to face the person you are breaking up with...this shows respect. Breaking up over the telephone, where you can discuss the situation together, is the next best way...that is if you don't have enough decency to do it face to face !! DON'T even consider writing a letter...this kind of stuff is only done in the movies !! And please...please...please don't ask someone to do your dirty work for you...this will only add insult to injury... and you really don't wanna do that !!

Be thoughtful !

Thoughtfullness...you will need a lot of that in a situation like this !! It's a good idea to cushion your breakup by telling the other person what the relationship has meant to you. Mention a few of the person's admirable traits...it can be as insignificant as ...I love the the way you glare at me... I really valued our friendship ... I love your sense of humour...this will make things seem a little less harsh !!

Be considerate and cushion the blow as much as possible. Remember the Golden Rule to treat others as you would want to be treated !! Put yourself in the other persons shoes and you'll know exactly how to act !!

Keep yourself busy !

Get down to doing the stuff you never thought you'll get time for !! Not that you have any extra time now, but it will surely seems like it... Update your web-page, clean your house ( doesn't sound very appealing ?? but this really works !!) , write a novel, play video-games,try your hands on pottery,paint your house or redo your room...try your hands on anything and everything that takes your fancy...just be constructive !!

Get a life !

Get out of the house...get a life !! Meet people...catch up with friends...irrirate your relatives...give everyboby ,who features in your phone book a call, if you have to...but meet more people...interact with real people and not just the assorted creatures in your room...get the picture !!

Therapy and social service

Jot down all of your well meaning thoughts into words. Then do them! Hey...you can even open a dumped counseling centre...it was just a thought !!

Don'ts

Don't fall apart !

Yes, easier said than done... take a deep breath... smile (even a smile lookalike will do). No point wasting precious energy over a loser who can't differentiate the god from the bad...right?

If at the time of the breakup you are too hurt or angry to react calmly, try to avoid saying something you'll regret later. Remember...if speech is silver then silence is golden !!

Don't do something foolish !

DO NOT try to gulp down stuff which is not edible by humans ( for e.g.. rat poison or any kind poison for that matter!!) .Taking sleeping pills in bulk is also a complete NO NO. I also do not recommend jumping off buildings or getting run over by cars !! In short life is precious (even more precious than water !!)...Use it wisely.

Don't turn bitter !

If you do that you will commit psychological suicide. You are hurt and angry and you say hateful things and assassinate you ex's character but in the process you are also traumatizing yourself...trust me, the best thing to do is to get a life...don't give the farthead so much importance !!

Don't beg and grovel !

This is something you just CANNOT do. You really don't want to be impulsive and lose all your 'swaabhimaan'...do you? No matter what you think, you can live without that person. Keep telling yourself that. And if you still see no harm in begging and groveling then you are a retarded masochist for sure !!

Don't hide in your cocoon!